II. Experiences with Grief and Loss – Physical and Emotional Every person that experiences a loss, experiences it differently. This occurs because there are so many dynamics to either the person or object they lost. This concept is vital in understanding the type of work that has to be done to navigate that loss.
Think about your relationship to the object or person that was lost. How do you feel about this relationship? Was it a positive addition to your life or were there toxic traits surrounding the relationship?
My Relationship to the Object/Person of Loss Was: How long has it been since the loss? Rate the intensity/severity of your experience with these symptoms How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? 6. Fatigue
Fatigue is characterized by extreme tiredness from mental, physical or emotional efforts. It is common to feel physical and emotional symptoms of fatigue after experiencing loss. Changes in sleep patterns and the inability to concentrate may affect fatigue levels during the grief and loss process. Loss can be immobilizing, and our bodies may feel exhausted, or even numb, during the grieving process.
Synonyms: burnout, drained, drowsiness, exhaustion, lethargy, listlessness, taxed tiredness, sluggishness, weariness
Symptoms:
Inability to get out of bed
Extreme exhaustion throughout the day that affects your ability to complete daily tasks
Difficulty falling asleep and/or staying asleep
Difficulty concentrating
Feeling physically exhausted without partaking in physical activity
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Sleep Health
The ability to get enough sleep contributes to overall physical, mental and emotional functioning. Insomnia is characterized by the inability to fall asleep and/or stay asleep throughout the night. People experiencing insomnia might have racing thoughts or intrusive thoughts, anxiety or feelings of uneasiness/extreme sadness.
Please rate your quality of sleep you receive: How many hours per night are you sleeping? Shock is characterized by a mental or emotional disturbance affecting one’s equilibrium. It occurs when a sudden, and usually unexpected, change occurs, although shock may be experienced for both sudden and anticipated losses.
Symptoms:
Feeling overwhelming disbelief surrounding the loss
Feeling numb
Constant or seemingly unprovoked crying
Fixation surrounding the loss
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Helplessness/Instability may be characterized by inability or perceived inability to assist oneself or others. One may feel intense vulnerability, defenselessness, or guilt and may experience thoughts of what could have been done to prevent the loss or change the situation.
Symptoms:
Asking yourself “what if” to change the outcome of the loss
Feeling like you could have done something to prevent the loss
Feeling a lack of control surrounding the loss
Feelings of sadness or vulnerability
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Relief
Relief is the feeling of comfort or relaxation following periods of anxiety or stress. The feeling of relief is common when long term illness or suffering was experienced prior to the loss. Relief might also be felt when exiting an abusive or hurtful relationship. While the feeling of relief may be initially agreeable, it may also bring up feelings of guilt.
Synonyms: calmness, consolation, comfort, ease, reassurance, relaxation,
Symptoms:
Feeling a calmness after long periods of stress
Understanding that the grieving process is unique to you
Giving yourself the OK to feel how you feel
Acknowledge your pain
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Numbness is characterized by the deprivation or lack of sensation. It is a physical and emotional symptom to grief that may be used as a defense or coping mechanism following a loss.
Symptoms:
Feeling desensitized to good or bad news
Unable to feel joy
Lack of taste for foods you once enjoyed
Feeling of disappearing, having nothing to contribute or feeling dead inside
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Disbelief is a common response when first learning of the loss. It may not seem real or even possible. It is characterized by a refusal to accept that the news of the loss is truth.
Symptoms:
Doubting the validity of the loss
Avoiding thinking about the loss
Feeling depersonalization (out-of-body experiences)
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Confusion during the grieving process may be characterized by an inability to concentrate or organize one’s thoughts.
Symptoms:
Feeling like your thought are jumbled or unorganized
Difficulty concentrating on simple tasks
Lack of certainty when making simple decisions
Feeling hesitation or panic when making a decision
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Forgetfulness is characterized by a lapse in memory, being unaware or unable to remember certain things. Memory loss may be a physical symptom of the grieving process as your body attempts to cope with the loss
Symptoms:
Forgetting important dates, meetings, events
Forgetting day-to-day “to do” list items
Experiencing slower cognitive responses than normal
Needing to set alarms for items you normally would have remembered
Asking for reminders from friends or family for simple tasks
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Emptiness is characterized by feeling a lack of purpose after experiencing loss. It may include numbness, sadness or depression
Symptoms:
Feeling like your life lacks meaning after the loss
Experiencing an empty feeling in your chest or your stomach
Feeling boredom, but no desire to make social connections
Feeling like a piece of you is missing after the loss
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Stress is characterized by physical, mental and emotional strain as a result of challenging or unpleasant circumstances. Stress may come about over feelings of pressure to move on or to take on a new role, frustration that life has changed or a reaction to trauma.
Symptoms:
Feeling pressure to adjust to a new way of life
Feeling anxious that the loss will cause a domino effect of changes
Feeling pressure to “get over it” or “get back to normal” before you are ready
Worrying that your need to grieve alone may alienate others
Feeling frustrated that life has changed from what you knew
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Preoccupation involves constant, intrusive thoughts about the loss. These thoughts absorb all aspects of your day and make other tasks difficult to complete. It is difficult to concentrate on anything other than grieving the loss and one may become engrossed in these overwhelming feelings.
Symptoms:
Thinking about the loss as soon as you wake up
Daydreaming or losing concentration easily
Experiencing inattentiveness at work or school
Constant thoughts of the loss and/or how to get the lost person/thing back
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Avoidance involves withdrawing people, places or things. These people, places or things may have some connection to the loss – either real or imagined.
Symptoms:
Avoid thinking or talking about the loss
Avoiding places that remind you of the loss
Avoiding people that remind you of the loss
Cutting people out of your life that remind you of the loss
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Loneliness is an emotional response when one is lacking a social connection. Loneliness may be experienced whether the social connection is desired or not. Loneliness is an individualized and subjective emotion, whereas one’s experience of solitude may warrant loneliness, whereas another’s may not. Loneliness is not synonymous with solitude, as it can occur even when surrounded by others.
Symptoms:
Feeling of longing companionship
Feeling alone even when surrounded by groups of people
Feelings of sadness or despair when alone
Declining invitations to be around others, even though you may want to interaction socially
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? A Phobia is characterized by strong feelings resulting in aversion from a thing or a situation to avoid danger
Phobias might be heightened following a loss due to the individual feeling increased vulnerability and fear of the unknown. New phobias might arise as well.
Common phobias surrounding loss include fear of public spaces, fear of crowds, fear of eating/being around others, fear of injury/death.
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? This is applicable to one who has a religious belief or practice prior to the loss. The loss triggers experiences like spiritual apathy, coldness, indifference, questioning or insecurity in faith
*If this is n/a because you don’t have a spiritual belief prior to the loss, select 1(Never)
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Unresolved issues after a loss can be a difficult experience to manage. It might occur if there was toxicity or abuse within the relationship. The relationship with the person/object lost might have had longstanding conflict or emotional/mental distress associated with it. When issues are present during the lifespan of the relationship and then the person passes or object is lost, it might feel as though the loss prevented you from finding resolve. This might bring up feelings of resentment, regret or anger.
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Questioning after a loss can take several forms. One might question why the loss occurred and if anything could have prevented it. One might question if they made the right choices before, during and after the loss.
Common questions include doubting ourselves and our choices , our spirituality, our dedication to the person/object or the meaning of life.
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Hypervigilance is characterized by a state of extreme readiness, awareness and alertness to the degree that it interferes with daily life and the quality of life. Hypervigilance will deplete your energy, as your brain is constantly in a state of high alert. It can interfere with relationships, ability to complete tasks at work and overall daily functioning.
Symptoms:
Constantly looking around to assess danger (real or imagined)
Extreme fatigue
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Bargaining may occur before, during or after a loss. Oftentimes, people try to bargain with a higher power to change the outcome of the situation, take away pain, give more time before a loss or prevent a loss completely.
Bargaining might affect one’s ability to cope with and accept a loss and can lead to intense feelings of guilt, regret, sadness, and anger.
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? Grief takes on several forms, including physical symptoms. These may include
1. Changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or sleeping more than usual)
2. Changes in eating habits (either overeating or undereating)
3. Changes in energy levels (experiencing “crashes” in energy throughout the day)
4. Increased heart rate, shortness of breath
5. Inability to focus or concentrate
6. Body aches
Rate your experience with the following symptoms: How many times per day are you experiencing this symptom or feeling? 
